On Failure
Shortly before my 16th birthday, I realized adulthood was real. Shortly before my 18th birthday, I realized I would not be turning in my Childhood Brain for a Legal Adult Brain on my birthday. That was a shocker. At 20, I still have the same think pan as I did when I was 12. I hear from reputable sources that I should expect the same at 40. I’m an adult, but I feel as if I shouldn’t be licensed to drive my life. I’m small, afraid, silly and I don’t know squat about how to be a Proper Adult. As a child I was hailed as being “wise beyond my years” and a well-above-average student. I had gold stars, plaques, certificates, trophies and the praise of many Respectable Adults to prove it. I graduated high school as valedictorian. In college, again, I was singled out as a top student in most of my classes. But for many years I have felt very small in this huge world. I am not special. I am not “above average.” I am human. I am weak. I am broken. I am often scared and l...